


What My Spark Can't Have

by SirGhirahim



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Animated (2007)
Genre: Love Confessions, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Paranoia, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-03 03:18:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14559678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SirGhirahim/pseuds/SirGhirahim
Summary: Optimus Prime tries to tell Ultra Magnus he loves him, but thanks to Sentinel Primes interference Ultra Magnus rejects Optimus harshly. Alone and spark broken Optimus looks for death.(High rating because of the content as mentioned in the tags)





	What My Spark Can't Have

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. Please don't sue me I'm poor. 
> 
> Trigger warning:  
> I am not romanticising suicide. If you don't like then please don't read.
> 
> Also there is a reference to the Transformers 1986 movie.

Optimus was happy, no, giddy with joy when he saw Ultra Magnus step out of the ship that had just landed on Earth. He hadn't seen the Magnus in a very long time. The last time he saw him it was when he and his team had found the AllSpark. But the last time he had seen him properly in person was just after his trail for the Archa seven incident. He bared no ill will against his commanding officer because he knew he was just doing his duty as the Magnus and he hoped Ultra Magnus knew this.

Optimus admired Ultra Magnus as he welcomed him to Earth. He ignored the rude comments from his former friend and the decontamination shower and the inconsiderate comments from Ultra Magnus himself because in the end Optimus was proven right about everything. The AllSpark, the Decepticons, everything.

Optimus hoped before the Elite Guard left Earth he could spend some time with Ultra Magnus alone. He didn't care what the reason was as long they could be alone together. Just the thought of it made him smile. But alas it seemed Primus would not allow his wish to be granted. Every time Optimus Prime got close to Ultra Magnus there was always someone or something keeping them apart, but mostly it was Sentinel Prime. As Optimus sat in his room he tried to think of a reason any reason for the two of them to be alone.

Meanwhile Sentinel Prime paced up and down the Magnus' office trying to convince Ultra Magnus that Optimus Prime was up to no good.

"He's just trying to get into your good graces again Ultra Magnus. I've known him for years, so I know what he's like. He's up to something" Sentinel rambled "We should just court marshal him and his crew and leave"

"That's not your decision to make Sentinel Prime" Ultra Magnus warned trying to remind Sentinel Prime of his place.

"Well...No it's not, but it is yours and if Optimus tries to do anything then you can call the shots" Sentinel replied.

"And by anything you mean?" Jazz enquired. He had been quietly standing in the corner listening to Sentinel Prime rant and quite frankly he had heard enough.

"I don't know, but his behaviour towards the Magnus is reason enough to cause concern" Sentinel replied.

"Would you mind explaining Sentinel Prime?" Ultra Magnus asked.

"Well where do I begin. How about the amount of times he's tried to talk to you without a good reason" Sentinel replied.

"You mean a casual conversation? Ain't nothing wrong about that" Jazz said.

"Casual Conversation or a plot to try and talk his way into the Magnus' good graces" Sentinel said slightly overdramatically.

"Ok...What else?" Jazz asked unconvinced.

"Haven't you noticed that whenever Optimus comes to Ultra Magnus he's usually by himself and looks disappoint when Jazz or I show ourselves?" Sentinel pointed out.

"Maybe it's just a coincidence?" Jazz said with a shrug.

"Maybe or he wants to stab the Magnus in the back!"

"Oh by Primus" Jazz sighed "Now I know you being ridiculous. Optimus Prime would never-"

"Never what Jazz? Kill somebody? He already has" Sentinel said harshly.

This comment stunned Jazz even though he knew about the incident "That was an accident and he did save you" he pointed out.

Before Sentinel Prime could respond Ultra Magnus stepped in "I've heard just about enough of this. Sentinel Prime I will hear no more of you false allegations or the Archa seven incident. Is that clear?" he said sternly.

"Y-Yes sir" Sentinel stuttered.

"The both of you are dismissed" Ultra Magnus said and locked his door when the two had left.

Ultra Magnus sighed as he took a sip of his high grade. Sentinel Prime had always been very vindictive towards his former friend Optimus, but trying to accuse Optimus of wanting to stab the him in the back? Now that was a new one.

Ultra Magnus had noticed Optimus Primes strange behaviour as of late. Optimus did seem to be getting close to him...Very close. It was a little concerning, but there must be a rational reason. Ultra Magnus could think of none.

The next morning Ultra Magus was surprised to receive a private message from Optimus inviting him out for a tour of the city. He wasn't really interested in any tour of the planet, so he replied to the message asking what the point of this tour was. Optimus' reply was instant. Reconnaissance and mapping? Ultra Magnus thought about Optimus' response and realised that it would be a good idea to get the lay of the land as it were. Especially if the Decepticons attacked again, it would be good to know where they were going. He replied to the message once more and agreed to meet Optimus outside the Steelhaven. He drank his fill of fuel and headed out.

"Going somewhere commander?" Jazz asked.

"Yes Jazz. Optimus has offered to give me a tour of the city for reconnaissance. I thought it would be a good idea to map out possible locations for Decepticon hideouts" Ultra Magnus explained.  

"Sounds good to me" Jazz replied.

"Now wait just a minute sir! We talked about this yesterday" Sentinel Prime protested "Optimus is just trying to get you alone again"

Ultra Magnus and Jazz resisted the urge to roll their optics at Sentinel.

"I doubt Optimus has any ill intentions Sentinel Prime and even if he did I know how to look after myself" Ultra Magnus said and continued to walk off the ship.

Sentinel prime was not about the let Ultra Magus leave without him "If this really is a reconnaissance mission then I am coming with you to you know map the city"

"Very well" Ultra Magnus said hiding his disappointment.

Meanwhile at Optimus Prime base Optimus was practically drunk on happiness. He was finally going to be alone with Ultra Magnus and to make the most out of their time together he would take all of the long routes throughout the city.

"You keep on smiling like that and you'll crack your face plates" Ratchet said.

"Sorry Ratchet, but I'm just so excited" Optimus replied a little embarrassed.

"You shouldn't be sorry about being happy, kid. I know what young love feels like" Ratchet said. He was the only one aware of Optimus' crush on the Magnus. It hadn't taken him long to figure it out either.

"Yes right sorry, I mean, I just can't help it Ratchet. It'll be just us two" Optimus beamed.

Ratchet's good mood fell and he told Prime a truth he needed to hear "Listen Optimus I know you're excited, but Ultra Magnus isn't going to-"

"Isn't going to reciprocate my feeling. I know. I know" Optimus said as his smile disappeared "But he doesn't need to know how I feel. As long as I can spend some time with him nothing else matters to me"

Ratchet felt sorry for the Prime. His love was one sided and it always would be. But he seemed happy enough just to be next the Magnus so Ratchet would support him.   

"Alright I'm going to prepare a map for our tour"

"I take it this map will be a long one. One that would take you all day to complete" Ratchet said slyly.

"Maybe" Optimus replied with a blush and if the map should pass by some romantic hot spots well that couldn't be helped now could it "I'll see you later Ratchet"

"Have fun" Ratchet replied with a wave goodbye.

When the map was complete Optimus made his way to the Steelhaven and waited outside. His spark skipped a beat when he saw Ultra Magnus and then it sank when he saw Sentinel Prime behind. Him.

"Greetings Optimus Prime" Ultra Magnus said as he approached.

"Greeting sir" Optimus replied with a salute and a disappointed tone.

Both Ultra Magnus and Sentinel noticed his look of disappointment and Sentinel saw his chance to jump on him for it.

"What's the matter Optimus disappointed you and Ultra Magnus won't be alone?" Sentinel asked smugly.

 _'How in the pit did he know?'_ Optimus thought to himself. He needed to find an excuse "What? No. I'm just a little concerned at the fact that you are coming"

Now that made Ultra Magnus raise an optic ridge "And why is that Optimus Prime?" He asked.

"Because he doesn't obey the laws of the road, causes a lot of destruction, almost hurt a lot of humans and gets in trouble with Captain Fanzone more times than I care to count for" Optimus replied and it wasn't a lie or an excuse.

Ultra Magnus had notice Sentinel's path of destruction throughout the city and assured Optimus that Sentinel would be on his best behaviour.

"If you say so Ultra Magnus" Optimus said suppressing his disappointment "I'll show you some of the routes me and my team have taken and some of the places the Decepticons have a bad habit of showing up" Optimus explained again this wasn't all a lie, but he was trying to stay professional and not treat this like a date...With a uninvited third wheel.

"Very well. Sentinel and I will be making notes on this for future reference" Ultra Magnus said.

"Of course sir" Optimus replied with a saluted and transformed into his vehicle mode.

The three vehicles headed out into the city with Optimus in the lead. Optimus was glad he was in vehicle mode if he wasn't he knew he would not be able to hide his blushing face plates. Ultra Magnus was right behind him, so close to him. He could almost feel the heat from the other vehicle on his bumper.

 _"If I slowed down just a little bit more...Gah! No don't think about such lewd things. Just get on with the tour"_ Optimus thought. He was about to start the tour but noticed a red light up ahead. He smirked to himself and started to slow down without saying anything. As he suspected Ultra Magnus started to slow down as well. Optimus came to a full stop and felt Ultra Magnus almost brush against him.

"What's the holdup Optimus?" Sentinel yelled annoyed.

Optimus almost tutted and replied "I'm obeying the rules of the road Sentinel. A red light means stop"

"Is that what these lights are for?" Ultra Magnus asked.

"Yes sir. They are there to prevent traffic accidents. Green means go, orange means slow down and red means stop" Optimus explained "By followed the simple rules of the road we prevent accident, injury and death to the inhabitants of this planet" Optimus explained emphasizing his point more for Sentinel Primes carelessness.

"I see. You'll have to explain more of this 'rules of the road' to us" Ultra Magnus said.

"With pleasure sir" Optimus beamed.

Hours and hours passed and until the sun had set and the three bots and finally returned to the Steelhaven. The tour was finished. Optimus should have enjoyed his time spent with Ultra Magnus, but with Sentinel Prime around it had made things difficult to say the least.

The three bots transformed back into robot mode and stretched out their bodies.

"So how did you find the tour Ultra Magnus?" Optimus asked hoping for a good response.

"It was interesting. I had no idea the amount of rules these organics had for their roads and I'll see to it that Jazz uploads all of them to the ships data banks, along with the maps we have recorded" Ultra Magnus replied.

"I'm glad the tour will be of use to you and for any future Autobots that decided to come to this planet" Optimus said smiling.

"Indeed. I thank you for today Optimus Prime, but I think it's time we all powered down for the day" Ultra Magnus said.

"Of course sir" Optimus replied. He saluted once more before transforming and leaving for his own base.

Ultra Magnus watched Optimus leave until Sentinel interrupted him.

"I told you he was up to something sir" Sentinel said.

Ultra Magnus turned to Sentinel and asked "What do you mean Sentinel Prime?"

"He's been acting strange all day. Didn't you notice how disappointed he looked when I showed up this morning? Or how he seemed to drive as close to you as possible?"

Yes Ultra Magnus had noticed these things, but he just shrugged it off "I think you're being a bit paranoid Sentinel Prime" he said and went back onto the Steelhaven.

Ultra Magnus sat down at his desk and sipped on his Energon. Today had been rather informative for him. He had given Jazz the collected data to upload and looked over the data himself. He had collected enough data to serve as a map and a way to plan out any strategies should any Decepticons decide to show up. He was truly grateful for Optimus' assistance on such matters, but he still wondered about Optimus' strange behaviour today.

Ultra Magnus had noticed during the tour Optimus seemed to drive rather close to him, so close he could feel an intense heat radiating off of him. Another thing he noticed was Optimus never warned him when he was stopping at the traffic lights. Meaning Ultra Magnus had to make a sudden stop almost smacking into the back of Optimus and the noises Optimus made when that almost happened were slightly disturbing. If Ultra Magnus didn't know any better he could have sworn Optimus had done these things on purpose. But why?

When Optimus returned to the base he went to his room and closed the door behind him. He practically squealed like a teenage girl on those programmes Sari watched. He jumped onto his berth and smiled and laughed and burned with embarrassment. He had been so close to the Magnus and Magnus had almost been touching him more specifically his aft. He felt himself overheating even more at the thought.

After Optimus had cooled down he wondered how the tour/date would have gone if Sentinel Prime wasn't there. He was upset that Sentinel had invited himself on their tour/date, but he pushed his negative thoughts down and thought of all the other opportunities he would have to be alone with the Magnus.

Before Optimus left the base to go see Ultra Magnus he went to see Ratchet and told the old medic about yesterday.

"I'm glad you're having fun, but Prime maybe you should curb some of your enthusiasm" Ratchet suggested.  

"What, why?" Prime asked.

"Because I've known Ultra Magnus a lot longer than you and he's not the type to appreciate all of the attention you are giving him. He may even run out of patience for it" Ratchet explained. He slightly regretted telling Optimus this, but he had to, it was the truth.

"But I will think of good reasons to see him then he won't mind as much" Optimus replied.  

Well he tried Ratchet sighed "Alright then"

"I'll see you later Ratchet. I'm going to see Ultra Magnus" Optimus smiled and left the med bay.

Day after day Optimus made excuses to come and see the Magnus. He showed up at the Steelhaven every morning and left just before the sunset everyday without fail. He told Ratchet everything that happened everyday and admitted he was enjoying every moment of it.

Ultra Magnus meanwhile was starting to believe Sentinel Primes rants about Optimus trying to get into his good graces. He would come to the Steelhaven everyday just to see him and half of the reasons were just becoming ludicrous.

"Well I did warn you" Sentinel Prime said smugly.  

Ultra Magnus rolled his optics and but "Why would Optimus be doing this?"

"It's simple. To get back into the academy" Sentinel answered "Think about it. He must be miserable being stuck on this organic planet and wants to return to Cybertron and you are his ticket back home and back into the academy"  

To Ultra Magnus Sentinel Primes ranting was start to make sense, because after all, what other reason could there be?

As Optimus lay in his berth he was thinking about tomorrow night, the night he would confess to Ultra Magnus he slowly slipped into recharge he was unaware of how much Sentinel Prime had influenced Ultra Magnus into thinking he was up to no good.

The next morning Optimus woke up and hopped onto his computer. He sent a message to Ultra Magnus telling to meet him alone tonight in the woods. Unaware of how bad his message sounded. After that he went to bathe and wax himself.

Ultra Magnus was surprised when Optimus Prime didn't show up to the Steelhaven and instead sent a private message to him. He frowned and read the message with distrust. Optimus wanted to meet him alone in an organic woods? It did sound suspicious. He wouldn't back down however. He was the Magnus and replied saying he would be there. And he would be ready if things got out of hand.

Later that night Optimus waited nervously for Ultra Magnus to come. He was a little nervous about confessing, but he knew there was nothing to fear but fear itself. If the Magnus rejected him then yes he would be sad, but at least it would be over and he could move on. The sound of branches breaking caught his attention and his optics spotted the familiar frame of Ultra Magnus.

Ultra Magnus found Optimus at the co-ordinates he had been sent and they were indeed alone "Optimus" he greeted as he approached.

"S-Sir" Optimus stuttered.

 _'He looks nervous or scared'_ Ultra Magnus noticed "Why have you called me out here Optimus Prime? I assume there is a good reason?" he asked trying to get to the bottom of this.

"Ah yes there is...I um..." Optimus twitched and fidgeted as he tried to find the right words.

Ultra Magnus felt unnerved as he watched Optimus twitch and fidget. And now he was getting impatient with his stuttering "Out with it Optimus Prime!" he nearly yelled.

Optimus jumped at Ultra Magnus' tone and just blurted out his confession "I love you Ultra Magnus!"

Ultra Magnus was stunned to say the least, but he was mostly angry. Angry because Sentinel Prime had been right. Optimus was trying to get into his good graces and use him, well he was not about to let that happen.

"I don't how long you planned all of this Optimus Prime however I assure you your efforts have been wasted" Ultra Magnus said.

"Eh?"

"And to think I used to expect good things from you, but this is unacceptable. Trying to manipulate me for your own selfish gain, it's vile and disgusting"

Optimus listened to Ultra Magnus with shock and horror. He had expected rejection, but not being accused of manipulation.

"Whatever you have planned Optimus Prime I suggest you stop. I will not be used in anyway"

Optimus started to try and explain without thinking "N-No you don't understand" he said and reached out "I really do-do love you"

Ultra Magnus smacked away the offending hand and sneered "Do not throw the word love around so casually. Especially towards me" Ultra Magnus turned his back and started to walk away with one final word of advice "If I were you Optimus Prime I would be ashamed of myself" and then he was gone.

Optimus stood dumbfounded before he fell to his knees and screamed in agony.

Optimus didn't return to the base until the next morning. A worried Ratchet was the one who greeted him and took him to the med bay.

"Prime, what happened?" Ratchet asked.

"...He called me disgusting and vile and said I was manipulating him" Optimus answered.

"What?" Ratchet said in disbelief. He listened to the Primes story with pity and comforted him as best as he could.

For the next week Optimus avoided Ultra Magnus. In fact he barely did anything. He just lay in his room silently waiting for the ache in his spark to go away.

 _'...I want to die'_ Optimus thought to himself. It was all he had been thinking off. Death. He wanted to die. But he was too afraid of taking his own life. He didn't want be remembered as a bot who off-lined himself. If he did die then he wanted to die doing something great or heroic. Just then a surprising thought came to mind. The Decepticons or more specifically Megatron. What better way to go off-line then by trying to defeat the Decepticon warlord. Finding the strength to move again Optimus made his way out the base with a large shard of the AllSpark as bait and braced himself for death.

Optimus had planted the AllSpark shard and was currently lying in wait for Megatron to show up. Not much time passed when Megatron finally showed up and searched for the AllSpark shard. Optimus waited for the warlords back to be turn before he ran from his hiding spot and attacked.

Megatron screamed when something had slashed the back. He drew his swords and faced his attacker "You!" he sneered when he saw the familiar Autobot he detested "Autobot scum"  

"I'm here to kill you Megatron" Optimus said. He was lying of course for today only he would die. He planned to.

"You? Kill me?" Megatron laughed "I don't know where this new found arrogance of yours has come from, but I'll make sure you realise your own foolishness while you're drowning in your own Energon" he said viciously and then rushed forward to attack.

Optimus knew he had to put up a good fight or else it would look suspicious and attacked Megatron with vigour.

The fight between the two mechs destroyed the forest around them. The battle was ferocious. Both of them seemed determined to tear each other apart, but Megatron had no idea he was being used.

Meanwhile unbeknownst to both Optimus and Megatron their battle was being watched.

Ratchet answered his comm-link and was surprised when Captain Fanzone spoke "Hey you Autobots better get to my location your boss is fighting a losing battle against Megatron"

Shocked Ratchet gathered the others and contacted the Steelhaven. 

Optimus had decided that now was a good time to put an end to his charade. All he had to do was hit Megatron hard and 'lose' his weapon making himself defenceless and then Megatron would end him. Optimus got his chance when Megatron lowered his left arm and created an opening. Optimus took his chance and struck Megatron in the face. Megatron retaliated just as Optimus predicted and he lost his axe. He was struck hard and sent careening into the trees. He lay amongst the broken trees, pretended to be too injured to move and waited for Megatron to end him.

Megatron recovered from the blow quickly and searched for his opponent. He found him lying injured amongst the destroyed organic foliage. He sneered and put away his swords. He approached his fallen opponent with caution.

Optimus watched as Megatron came closer to him and he feigned being unable to move. He looked as frightened as possible as Megatron loomed over him.

Megatron leaned down and wrapped both hands around the Autobots neck and began to strangle him "I'll crush you with my bare hands. Die Autobot!" Megatron growled.

Optimus gasped and wheezed as his neck was being crushed. He pretended to try and fight back, but even if he wasn't pretending fighting back against the warlord was have still been difficult. His cooling fans strained as they tried to keep him from overheating. He felt his neck plates starting to crumple and vital lines snap under the pressure.

Megatron watched with a smirk as the enemies movements began to get sluggish and weaken. The Autobots optics began to flicker and his struggling started to cease.

Optimus could feel his systems shutting down one by one. Warnings flashed across his HUD as static flooded his vision. His felt his spark thudding against his chest plate, it was loud at first, then it shrank duller and duller until Optimus' blue optics shut down, his bright red and blue paint dulled grey and his arms slipped off Megatrons and fell limp.  

Megatron released his grip on the Autobots throat when all movement stopped. He studied the husk of his opponent with...Disappointment. He stood up and said "You were a good opponent whenever we fought, except for this farce of a battle" he scowled "What happened to you Optimus Prime?" he asked and flew away.

By the time Optimus' team and Ultra Magnus got to the co-ordinates Captain Fanzone sent them it was too late. They found Optimus' off-line body amongst the broken shrubs and destroyed trees, with no sign of Megatron anywhere. They loaded Optimus' body onto Bulkhead and brought him back to the base.

Optimus awoke with a gasp. He jumped up and stared at his desk. The computer screen blinked with 'message sent' Optimus caught his breath and realised that he had fallen asleep at his desk. He remembered what had happened now. He hadn't got much sleep because he was thinking about his private meeting with Ultra Magnus. He must of fallen asleep soon after sending the message. He must have dreamt up the whole encounter. But still what a nightmare or perhaps it was a prediction of things to come. Horrified at the thought Optimus went to Ratchet.

"By Primus that does sound like a horrible ordeal" Ratchet said after listening to the Primes story.

"I know and now I'm afraid it might actually happen" Optimus sighed.

"Well it won't happen if you don't confess to the Magnus" Ratchet suggested.

"But I want to. I mean at least I did want to, but I think you're right. I shouldn't" Optimus said "But I already sent the message. What am I supposed to do?" he asked worried.

"Now don't panic, we'll think of something" Ratchet replied and the two bots made a plan.

Later that night Optimus waited for Ultra Magnus to appear. He waited in the same spot he stood in his Nightmare and hoped it was not a premonition. The sound of branches breaking caught his attention and his optics spotted the familiar frame of Ultra Magnus.

Ultra Magnus found Optimus at the co-ordinates he had been sent and they were indeed alone "Optimus" he greeted as he approached.

"S-Sir" Optimus stuttered.

 _'He looks nervous or scared'_ Ultra Magnus noticed "Why have you called me out here Optimus Prime? I assume there is a good reason?" he asked trying to get to the bottom of this.

"Ah yes there is...I um..." Optimus twitched and fidgeted as he tried to find the right words.

Ultra Magnus felt unnerved as he watched Optimus twitch and fidget. And now he was getting impatient with his stuttering "Out with it Optimus Prime!" he nearly yelled.

Optimus flinched at the tone, but he didn't back down. He took a deep breath and spoke calmly "Ultra Magnus during my time repairing space bridges my crew and I had to stop at various places to refuel and get Energon. And during our stay at these places we met fellow Autobots. But these Autobots weren't the most friendly. Apparently most of them were academy failures, like me. Kicked out of the academy for various reasons by you. And well...The things they said about you were very...Hurtful to listen to. I always thought every Autobot liked you, but after listening to them I found out that it wasn't true. They hated you, despised you, wanted to hurt you" he explained "After that I began to wonder if you knew about them. How they felt about you. And I wondered if you thought that I was like them, given the circumstances" Optimus cast his gaze away from Ultra Magnus "Which is why I called you out here. I just wanted to let you know that I don't feel that way. I don't hate you or want to see you hurt. I still respect and admire you sir and nothing will ever change that. Never" Optimus felt a wave a relief wash over and refresh him. He may not have confessed his love, but confessing his respect to Ultra Magnus made him feel better. And all he had to do was wait for a reply.

Ultra Magnus was stunned by Optimus Primes sudden heartfelt show of respect and felt a pang of warmth though his old spark. He put down his Magnus hammer and approached Optimus Prime "I am happy to hear you say that Optimus Prime and to be honest I have often wondered if you hated me for the trail and the expulsion from the academy. I also know how most bots feel about me when I must pass down a harsh punishment, so I'm not surprised you heard such harsh stories" Ultra Magnus gentle put his hand under the Primes chin and made him look at him "But it truly warms my spark to hear that not all bots think of me so poorly and it makes me feel even better to hear it from you" Ultra Magnus smiled "I'm glad you told me"

"You are?" Optimus asked.

"Of course I am" the Magnus replied.

Optimus felt warm liquid fill his optics. He promised himself he wasn't going to cry, but he knew couldn't stop himself.

Ultra Magnus was a little shaken when he saw fluid leaking from Optimus' optics "Are you alright?" he asked.

"I-I'm fine sir. I'm sorry" Optimus apologised "I just thought that this would go badly somehow" he tried wiping the fluid away only to find himself being pulled in the Magnus' warm embrace "S-Sir?" Optimus voice shaking.

"It's alright Optimus" Ultra Magnus said in a soothing tone "I'm not your commanding office tonight, so just let it out" he said as he cradled the young Prime.

Optimus whimpered and embraced Ultra Magnus. He shivered as he tried to contain making any embarrassing noises.

When Optimus had finished crying he and the Magnus spent the rest of the night talking, laughing and sharing stories as if they were old friends. When morning came the two bots shared one last hug and went back to the respective bases.

"Prime!" Ratchet said in alarm "You were out all night, what happened?" he asked.

Optimus smiled and told Ratchet every detail.

"Well I'm glad it went well for you" Ratchet said relieved.

"Better than I expected and much better than my nightmare"

"Thank goodness" Ratchet said with relief.

"Yeah. And you know what, I still respect him and after what happened tonight only solidified that fact" Optimus said "But still I do wonder how he feels about me?" 

When Ultra Magnus returned to the Steelhaven he was greeted by a slightly concerned Jazz and a very disgruntled Sentinel Prime.

"Ultra Magnus sir. Are you alright?" Jazz asked concerned.

"I am well Jazz" Ultra Magnus replied.

"But you were gone all night. No message and no radio contact. What happened?" Jazz asked.

"I was meeting with Optimus Prime and we got carried away talking" Ultra Magnus replied.

"What? You were with him all night!" Sentinel Prime practically bellowed "What did he do? If tried to manipulate you I'm going to-"

"You will do nothing Sentinel Prime" Ultra Magnus said in a warning tone "I've heard enough from you and your make believe stories of manipulation. There is nothing going on and I was a fool to even listened to you"

"But-"

"No buts Sentinel Prime. And if I hear any more of this nonsense you'll be temporarily put into the stockades" Ultra Magnus warned "Is that clear?"

"Yes sir" Sentinel Prime managed to reply stunned.

"Good" Ultra Magnus said and made his was pass an impressed Jazz and dumbfounded Sentinel.

Ultra Magnus went back to his room and sat in his chair. He took a deep breath and sighed. Tonight had been refreshing and surprising. Optimus Primes heartfelt confession had been unexpected, but not unwelcomed. For many centuries Ultra Magnus knew that not all Autobots liked him for various reasons, mostly due to him ordering out punishments. But Optimus' confession made him realised that it wasn't always like that and to hear it so sincerely was spark warming.

Optimus Prime may have always and would always respect him, but Ultra Magnus wondered if that respect could ever turn into something more.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this when I was feeling very sad and originally there was no dream or happy ending, but after it sat in my folder for a few months I added it in.


End file.
